Stimming Isn’t a Problem, It’s a Language
Understanding the Role of Self-Stimulatory Behavior in Autism and ADHD
For decades, “stimming” has been misunderstood. Often labeled as a behavior to suppress or “redirect,” it’s been viewed by many educators, clinicians, and even parents as a distraction, a disruption, or a sign that something is wrong. But in reality, stimming is not a problem to fix—it’s a vital, expressive part of how many neurodivergent people move through the world. For autistic and ADHD individuals, stimming is a form of communication, regulation, and self-connection. It’s time we stopped asking how to stop stimming—and started asking what it’s telling us.
What Is Stimming?
“Stimming” is short for self-stimulatory behavior. It refers to repetitive body movements, sounds, or actions that stimulate the senses. Some of the most recognizable stims include:
Hand flapping
Rocking back and forth
Spinning or twirling objects
Repeating phrases or sounds (echolalia)
Hair twirling or pulling
Pacing or tapping
Sniffing objects
Humming or making rhythmic noises
Biting, chewing, or mouthing objects
While stimming is most commonly associated with autism, it’s also common in ADHD, sensory processing differences, anxiety, trauma, and many other neurodivergent experiences. In fact, everyone stims to some degree—nail biting, pen clicking, humming, or pacing are socially normalized examples. So why are some forms accepted while others are pathologized?
Why Do People Stim?
Stimming has many functions. It’s not meaningless. In fact, it’s often a direct response to internal or external sensory and emotional input. Here are some of the core reasons people stim:
1. Regulation
Flapping is merely a form of expression.
Stimming can help regulate emotions, especially anxiety, frustration, excitement, or overwhelm. When someone is overstimulated (too much sensory input) or under-stimulated (not enough), stimming helps balance the nervous system.
2. Expression
For many autistic people, stimming is a way to communicate joy, distress, confusion, or excitement. A child who flaps their hands when excited is saying, “This moment is amazing!” A teen who rocks when upset may be expressing, “I’m not okay right now.”
3. Focus and Attention
In ADHD, stimming often helps with concentration. Repetitive movement or sound can anchor attention when the brain is racing or bored. It provides a sensory “tether” to focus thought.
4. Self-Soothing
Stimming can create a sense of safety and familiarity. In stressful situations, it helps people return to baseline. It’s especially common in environments that feel unpredictable, chaotic, or socially demanding.
5. Sensory Enjoyment
Sometimes stimming isn’t about regulation at all—it’s just pleasurable. The texture, rhythm, or sound might feel good to the individual, like listening to a favorite song or watching waves crash on a beach.
How Stimming Becomes Misunderstood
Pathologizing What’s Natural
Many traditional autism therapies view stimming as a behavior to suppress. For example, Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) historically focused on extinguishing stims to make children appear more “typical.” This can have long-term negative effects:
Loss of self-regulation strategies
Increased anxiety and meltdowns
Internalized shame about one’s body and expression
Masking or hiding symptoms, which leads to burnout
Cultural Bias in What’s “Acceptable”
Social norms play a big role in which stims are seen as problematic. A child twirling a pencil is praised for being focused; a child flapping their hands is told to stop. This double standard sends a message: “Your way of being isn’t allowed.”
Safety vs. Social Expectations
Sometimes, stims can cause self-injury (e.g., head-banging, skin-picking) or pose safety risks. These require compassionate intervention—not punishment. But most stims are harmless. The discomfort is often with the observer, not the stimmer.
Stimming as a Language
If you reframe stimming as nonverbal communication, it transforms how we respond. Every stim tells us something:
Stim Possible Meaning
Rocking or pacing “I’m anxious or overstimulated.”
Hand-flapping or bouncing “I’m excited or full of energy.”
Humming or echolalia “I’m trying to stay regulated or focused.”
Picking at skin or chewing “I need sensory input or I’m overwhelmed.”
Spinning objects “This helps me make sense of my environment.”
Instead of asking, “How can I make this stop?” ask:
What is the person trying to express or manage?
Is the environment contributing to distress?
Are we offering safe and acceptable ways to stim?
Are we honoring neurodivergent ways of communicating?
Supporting Stimming Without Suppressing It
You don’t need to “fix” stimming—but you can support it.
1. Differentiate Harmful vs. Helpful Stimming
If a stim causes pain or prevents someone from learning or functioning, look for safer substitutes. For example, if a child chews their sleeve, offer a chew-safe necklace.
2. Offer Stim-Friendly Environments
Let children and adults stim freely in safe spaces—whether it’s in a corner with fidget toys, during breaks, or while listening to music.
3. Validate, Don’t Shame
Acknowledge stimming as a need: “I see that flapping helps when you’re excited.” This builds trust, self-esteem, and emotional awareness.
4. Educate Others
Teach teachers, peers, and professionals that stimming is not defiance or immaturity. It’s a tool—just like deep breathing or meditation.
5. Model Acceptance
Neurodivergent people notice when they’re being watched or corrected for being different. Modeling acceptance—especially for young children—helps reduce masking and burnout later in life.
When Parents or Teachers Ask, “But What If It’s Distracting?”
It’s okay to support the needs of all learners—but the solution shouldn’t be to suppress one person’s way of regulating. Instead:
Offer seating options or quiet stim tools (e.g., putty, textured strips)
Use headphones or visual breaks if vocal stimming affects others
Build awareness and empathy among classmates or colleagues
The goal isn’t conformity—it’s inclusive access.
Let Stimming Be
Stimming is a natural part of being human. For autistic and ADHD individuals, it’s often essential. It’s how many people regulate, connect, focus, and feel safe. Trying to eliminate stimming is like telling someone they’re not allowed to laugh, cry, or stretch.
When we listen to stimming instead of silencing it, we gain insight into what a person needs, not just what they’re doing. We allow neurodivergent people to speak in their own language—one of movement, rhythm, sound, and feeling. And that’s a language worth learning.